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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26634217">Humanity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briana_Dubs/pseuds/Briana_Dubs'>Briana_Dubs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, I really dont have much else to say, Khirk feelings in 2020 is like things coming back from the dead, Kirk is feeling lost after the five year mission, Kirk's defense mechanism is to flirt, M/M, SO, i just miss them, its mostly just kirk flirting a little bit and khan not yelling at him for it, khan - Freeform, mild khirk, of course</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:01:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26634217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briana_Dubs/pseuds/Briana_Dubs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Letting out one sad little laugh at himself, Kirk hung his head. Wow. He never would’ve thought he’d face anything worse than Khan… If you had told him five years ago that he would face someone even worse than the augmented murderer- he wouldn’t have believed you.<br/>“I’m fine, Spock,” he said, turning his head. He looked down the long row of cryotubes. He let his eyes drag down the line before coming back to the one he had sat in front of. “I was just thinking… You know?”<br/>“I find that you often behave rashly when you are alone with your thoughts for too long… Jim.”<br/>Kirk chuckled. “Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “I just… It feels like forever ago that this. That Khan was the worst thing we had ever faced… Sometimes I find myself wondering what I would have done differently if I knew what I did now.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk &amp; Khan Noonien Singh, James T. Kirk &amp; Khan Noonien Singh | John Harrison, James T. Kirk &amp; Spock, James T. Kirk/Khan Noonien Singh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Humanity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He had been staring into his glass for the past couple of hours. Honestly, Kirk really hadn’t been keeping track of the time. He hadn’t meant to lose himself in old memories, but… After everything that happened, he felt like he deserved a bit of slack. Mentally or otherwise.</p><p>He just kept thinking about Edison… The man had completely lost himself. So much about his story made Kirk’s heart ache. He had been a good man in the beginning. In the end, though, Kirk wasn’t even sure the man was <em>human</em> anymore.</p><p>His machine… Fuck.</p><p>Kirk took a long gulp from glass.</p><p>He hadn’t even been there to see it. Uhura had told him after they had all been drinking together after… after it was all over. His… Edison stole the life from other people. His machine had sucked the life out of them.</p><p>Uhura had started to gag halfway through her story and Sulu had reached over to pat her on the back. The two of them had shared a moment where no words were spoken and Kirk had found himself looking at Spock. Judging by the slight widening of his eyes, his first officer hadn’t known about this machine either.</p><p>Just the description was enough to make Kirk feel reluctant to go to sleep. He couldn’t imagine having actually <em>seen</em> it in use.</p><p>Edison did that. Edison chose to <em>suck the life</em> out of innocent people…</p><p>Kirk swallowed another mouthful of his drink. He couldn’t even remember what he was drinking anymore. He was pretty sure it was brandy… Maybe…</p><p>Letting out one sad little laugh at himself, Kirk hung his head. Wow. He never would’ve thought he’d face anything worse than Khan… If you had told him five years ago that he would face someone even worse than the augmented murderer- he wouldn’t have believed you.</p><hr/><p>He almost was surprised when Spock found him later. The greeting of “captain,” made him smile a little bit.</p><p>“Come on, Spock, not Captain anymore. You know that.” Spock stopped for a moment and the mild twitch of his cheek muscle was all Kirk needed to see to know that Spock hadn’t even realized he said it. Kirk waved his hand at him lightly. “It’s all right,” he said. “Old habits die hard, I know.” He raised his head up with a little smile. “What’s up?”</p><p>“I,” Spock paused, looking at his face, before looking down in front of where he sat. “When I was informed that you were here, I was… curious.” He straightened his posture- shifting and tugging at his uniform. “I merely came by to see if you were well.”</p><p>Kirk nodded once. Slowly. Solemnly, almost.</p><p>“I’m fine, Spock,” he said, turning his head. He looked down the long row of cryotubes. He let his eyes drag down the line before coming back to the one he had sat in front of. “I was just thinking… You know?”</p><p>“I find that you often behave rashly when you are alone with your thoughts for too long… Jim.”</p><p>Kirk chuckled. “Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “I just… It feels like forever ago that this. That <em>Khan</em> was the worst thing we had ever faced… Sometimes I find myself wondering what I would have done differently if I knew what I did now.”</p><p>Spock looked down at the sleeping augment. He didn’t stay anything for a while. “Hindsight is twenty-twenty, as you might say.”</p><p>“No kidding,” Kirk laughed again. Even such a quiet noise sounded loud and echoed in the vast, silent, storage facility. “I’ve learned so much since then. I think… Well, maybe this is just bravado talking- but I think if I faced Khan now, after everything, that I wouldn’t even be scared of him, you know?” He glanced up at Spock for a moment, feeling wistful. “If anything, I’d just feel sorry for him.”</p><p>Spock was quiet for a long time. “I would avoid thinking such thoughts, Capta- Ahem… Jim.” Kirk smiled at Spock’s second slip up. “Such sympathies will do you no good.”</p><hr/><p>If Spock knew what Kirk was doing, he’s pretty sure the Vulcan would kill him.</p><p>No, scratch that- he’s <em>absolutely</em> sure the Vulcan would kill him.</p><p>But he had questions.</p><p>He had taken precautions, of course. Ordering doctors to pump him full of enough drugs to kill an earth elephant and requesting twenty security personnel of varying size, strength, and species to be in the room when… When he woke Khan back up.</p><p>All of the officers in the room seemed visibly nervous as the waking sequence began. Kirk stood close to Khan’s side, watching to see how the man would act upon consciousness.</p><p>As he had expected, Khan was aware almost instantly. His eyes shot open, before closing tight. His face clenched up and his right arm raised up. Kirk didn’t let him get his arm halfway to his face before he gave the command, “Lights at fifty percent.”</p><p>Khan’s arm had gone still and Kirk could physically see him tense up. He couldn’t help but smirk at that.</p><p>The augment had yet to open his eyes as he hissed out a very threatening sounding, “<em>You</em>…”</p><p>Smiling, Kirk answered, “Me.”</p><p>When those icy blue eyes finally opened, Kirk wasn’t surprised that they immediately flicked over to him. Enhanced bastard… Khan spoke again- deep voice drawling in an almost bored way, if not for the rasp of disuse. “Last I heard from your dear first officer- you were dead.”</p><p>Kirk couldn’t help but continue to grin. “And yet, here I am.” He motioned to himself in a small wave.</p><p>Lying on his back, buckled onto a med bay with drugs pumping into his left arm, Khan didn’t <em>look</em> like he posed much of a threat. But Kirk knew better than that. He watched Khan flexing the fingers of his left hand- probably feeling the IV in his arm. Kirk just stood there smiling at him as Khan’s eyes flickered over his face. The hard edge to his gaze melted a little bit.</p><p>“You look older, Captain.”</p><p>Nodding, Kirk said, “Yeah, well, five years of crazy space bullshit will do that to ya…”</p><p>Khan sighed, closing his eyes. “Five years.” The man was quiet for a few moments after that. Humming, he asked, “And why have you woken me, this time? What is it you want?” He scowled up at Kirk. “More of my blood? Or am I to assume you have something new to barter for my freedom? Some sort of cushy prison, instead of cryostasis? Perhaps you plan to tempt me with freedom? Is your Vulcan here to beat me again?”</p><p>Hearing Khan say that made guilt well up in Kirk’s chest, though he knew that logically he had nothing to feel guilty about. Khan had nearly killed all of them. Getting the shit beat out of him by Spock was the kindest thing they could have done to him.</p><p>Looking at him, Kirk took a breath and said something that may or may not have terrible implications. “Khan… your crew is alive.”</p><p>The look of hate in the augment’s eyes did not surprise Jim one bit. Him jolting upright and wrapping his hand around Jim’s throat- even less so. Everyone in the room had jumped forward, weapons drawn, but stopped when Kirk raised a hand.</p><p>The grip around his throat hurt, obviously, but Jim kept himself calm.</p><p>“Don’t you <em>speak</em> about my crew.” Khan spat in his face as he snarled. “You and your <em>Vulcan</em> killed them.”</p><p>A sad smile stretched across Kirk’s face. Shaking his head as much as Khan’s fierce grip would allow, he hissed out, “No.”</p><p>Khan was snarling at him, hand clenching tighter. “Your Vulcans cannot lie- I’ve seen enough reports.”</p><p>Wheezing a little bit, Kirk said, “Spock is only <em>half </em>Vulcan.” He grimaced at the pain. “He didn’t exactly lie, but he didn’t tell you the truth either.”</p><p>Khan’s eyes narrowed, but he eased up the grip he had on Kirk’s neck. He didn’t look like he believed him yet, but had calmed enough to listen to him. “Show me,” was his immediate demand.</p><p>Carefully, one of the officers in the room approached and placed a PADD into Kirk’s hand. They stepped back a little ways as Kirk punched in a code to pull up video surveillance. Turning the small screen, Kirk handed it to Khan so he could see. “There,” he said, pointing a little at the rows of cryotubes. “We had to make new tubes for a few of them, because some of them failed, but they’re all there. Seventy-two frozen enhanced super-humans.” Kirk offered Khan a placating smile. “They’re in a secure Star Fleet facility that only twelve officers even have access to.”</p><p>Khan had been staring at the images, moving the camera view around- bringing it closer to peer into each tube. If he was truly happy with what he was seeing, he hid it well. If Kirk didn’t have to deal with Spock on an almost daily basis, he would have been really impressed by the poker face Khan had.</p><p>“And I assume that you are one of the twelve with access?” Khan asked, voice steady and calm, as he handed back the PADD.</p><p>Kirk took it with a smile. “Yep. Blood scans, retinal scans, passcodes, and voice recognition scanners. They’re very secure, Khan.”</p><p>Khan only nodded once at what Kirk said, and sat perfectly still. His back was ramrod straight and his shoulders were squared. After a moment of quiet, he looked up at Kirk. “Why did you wake me, Captain…? Surely not out of some sense of guilt that I was put to sleep thinking my family was gone.”</p><p>“Actually, I’m taking a little break from Captaining. Just a year or two off- might even teach at the Academy. Haven’t decided.” He passed the PADD back to the officer who had given it to him. Sighing, he said, “As much as I would like to say that’s all I woke you for- it isn’t.” He looked at Khan, noticing the slight, smug, glint to his eyes. He pouted at the augment. “Oh, shush- don’t look so happy about it.”</p><p>Khan looked away from him now, smiling a little bit for the first time since he had been woken again.</p><p>“Smug bastard,” Kirk huffed, rolling his eyes. “I just have some questions I needed to ask you.”</p><p>Khan looked back up at him, still not speaking, and waited. He held Kirk’s gaze with an air of ‘all right, I’m waiting.’</p><p>“I’m- I’m assuming,” Kirk began, “That after five years your blood is no longer in my system. It’s still similar enough to normal human’s blood, right? It clears itself out after enough time, right?”</p><p>Khan chuckled at his question and Kirk immediately felt like it was a stupid question to ask. “Yes, Kirk, my blood would have left your system after a year,” he looked at Kirk for a moment. “It certainly stays in the bloodstream longer as it regenerates, but yes. It eventually cycles itself out as normal blood cells do.”</p><p>“Okay. Okay, awesome.” Kirk sighed. “Look, I know it’s a dumb question, but that had been eating at me during our last bat- incident.” Khan raised a brow at Kirk’s stammered attempt to cover up the word ‘battle’ but said nothing. “We uh… Have you ever fought anyone who could physically drain the life out of someone else?”</p><p>Surprisingly, Khan snorted at the question. “Drained their life force? Like the stories of vampires of old?”</p><p>“Similar,” Kirk replied. “Look, just- have you ever met anyone that could do that? Yes or no?”</p><p>“No,” Khan answered.</p><p>“All right… All right. Good. That’s… Well, no, that doesn’t really help me. Fuck.” He had started turning and pacing a little as he muttered to himself.</p><p>Before Kirk could even think to ask his next question- he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. Flinching, he was unable to stop himself from collapsing to the ground. Shouts erupted and the room exploded into a flash of lights from phasers being fired. Briefly, Kirk lost consciousness. The next thing he became aware of was an arm wrapping around his waist. He felt a lurching in his stomach and he blacked out again.</p><hr/><p>When Kirk finally came to, he knew almost immediately where he was. Groaning, he rubbed at his head. “Fuck, how did you figure out where this place was just from looking at the PADD for ten seconds?”</p><p>“I took that with me, of course.” Khan’s voice was close by his side. “Truly, you don’t think I am <em>that good</em>, do you?”</p><p>“Oh. Took it with you… Yeah, that makes sense…” Kirk rubbed his eyes clear and finally took in his surroundings. He snorted after a minute. “Aw, a park bench? How romantic. Did you bring us a picnic, too?”</p><p>Khan didn’t answer the question, just smirked at Kirk. “You’re going to take me to my crew, Kirk.” He said it like it was no big deal. Like he hadn’t just taken out an entire room of Star Fleet officers and walked an unconscious Jim Kirk all the way to the park outside of a high security storage facility. He talked like it was just a normal Tuesday.</p><p>“And let me guess, you’re going to make me let them go?” He looked at Khan with a huff. “Khan, this place is heavily monitored. They’re going to know it was you that took them out. People are going to find you and follow you…”</p><p>Khan turned his head away. “That’s fine.”</p><p>“I’m serious!” Kirk shifted, turning his body more toward Khan on the bench. “The second they see you with me in the video feed, there probably will be alarms going off and officers heading to our location! There’s no way you’re going to get away unless you’re on your own. It takes too long to wake any of them up- you know that.”</p><p>Cocking his head to the side, Khan raised a brow and looked at Jim. “I understand, Kirk. You’ve made your point.” He stood and held a hand out to him. “Come now. Up.”</p><p>Frowning, Jim stood, placing his hand in Khan’s and furrowing his brows. “You’re still going to try this? Even though I just told you that you’re not going to be able to… you know… leave?”</p><p>“Yes,” Khan replied, walking along, tugging Jim by his hand. If anyone recognized Khan, they didn’t act like it. Though, after five years on ice- the incident with him was pretty far out of people’s memory. It was like a bad dream at this point. To anyone who happened to walk by them, they probably looked like an average couple just enjoying some time outside together. Kirk blinked a few times at that. He looked at how Khan kept a tight grip on his hand. It hurt, but nobody walking by would see the folds of Kirk’s skin in Khan’s vice grip.</p><p>“Okay, having us walk out in public like this was smart- but if I start screaming it’s gonna look pretty weird.”</p><p>Khan looked over his shoulder at him. “<em>Are </em>you going to start screaming?”</p><p>Huffing, Kirk said, “Well, no. Your hand is surprisingly comfortable with it’s bone crushing grip. I <em>love</em> this. It’s the best.” Khan chuckled at that, but turned forward again. It took only a few minutes before they stood at the entrance to the storage facility. Khan pushed Kirk to the front and waited as the blond man pricked his finger to start the process with the blood scan.</p><p>“James T. Kirk, requesting entry.”</p><p>The robotic voice of the computer system droned back, “Access Granted. Welcome.”</p><p>Khan walked behind Jim into the secondary entrance- similar to the air locks on the ship- and waited. Jim entered in the passcode and let the retinal scan begin. The secondary doors opened and the two men walked into the facility.</p><p>When they first walked in, they both stood and watched the lights come on. One after the other along the length of the rows of cryotubes. Kirk, frowning, looked at Khan. The enhanced human looked at the tubes for a moment before he began to walk to them. He leaned down, looking into the windows that revealed their faces. He walked slowly along the rows. Gently running his fingers over the glass as he did.</p><p>He stopped at the last tube, staring down into the face of the sleeping man. Kirk had been following him a few feet back, but paused when Khan did.</p><p>He smiled a little bit when he figured out exactly why Khan made him come here.</p><p>“See?” He spoke in a soft voice. He felt that being too loud would ruin this… whatever sort of moment they were having here. “Seventy-two super-humans, safe and sound.”</p><p>Khan let out a single, breathless little laugh. “Thank you,” he said, voice hardly more than a whisper. “Thank you, Kirk…”</p><p>He spoke more as he walked to Khan’s side. “I promised you they would be safe, didn’t I?”</p><p>“Yes…” Khan ran his fingertips over the glass in a small, circular motion.</p><p>Kirk looked at the man inside. “What’s his name?”</p><p>“Joaquin,” Khan answered. “He was my right hand… Always so loyal.”</p><p>When officers stormed the building, Kirk was almost disappointed. He hadn’t even been paying attention to their surroundings. All that he had been able to see was Khan and how happy he looked. It had been… nice. Khan may have been an enemy, but there was still something so… human about him.</p><p>Kirk blinked at himself as the officers locked Khan into handcuffs.</p><p>That was it.</p><p>That was what had upset him about Edison so much.</p><p>He had lost his humanity, completely.</p><p>He was a soldier, but that was all he was, in the end. He lost himself.</p><p>Khan… Khan may have been a warrior, himself, but he was still a man. Kirk looked at him, not even putting up a fight, and smiled.</p><p>Maybe… If there was still some humanity left to Khan, then… Maybe he could help him. Him and his crew.</p><p>Maybe someday, Kirk could let them out and let them just be… happy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I dunno.</p><p>Khirk takes me back to easier times... I miss them...</p><p> </p><p>I've been dealing with a lot of depression lately.<br/>I just... wanted to write something...</p><p>Not much has been going right in my life, so... I thought maybe I could distract myself a while.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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